The Effectiveness of Forgiveness Intervention on the Desire to Compensate and Interpersonal Motivations related to the Wrongdoing of Women Involved in Emotional Divorce

Document Type : Original Article

Authors

• Tayebeh Sharifi ¹
• Homa Moghimi ²
• Zohreh Latifi ³
• Reza Ahmadi ⁴

¹ Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Shahrekord Branch, Islamic Azad University, Shahrekord, Iran.

² PhD candidate in Psychology, Department of Psychology, Shahrekord Branch, Islamic Azad University, Shahrekord, Iran.

³ Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Shahrekord Branch, Islamic Azad University, Shahrekord, Iran. Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Payame Noor University, Isfahan, Iran.

⁴ Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology, Shahrekord Branch, Islamic Azad University, Shahrekord, Iran

10.22067/tpccp.2025.80070.1425

Abstract

Introduction
Emotional divorce has been demonstrated to be associated with diminished satisfaction among women and an increased vulnerability to physical and mental illnesses. Women are more likely to be suffering from these conditions due to their role in upbringing children and protecting the home environment. Emotional divorce can be conceptualized as a precursor to legal divorce, representing a form of silent divorce. In this state, couples continue to cohabitate while observing significant marital restrictions, resulting in a state of emotional separation despite the physical presence in the same dwelling (Rasheed et al., 2021). The phenomenon of emotional divorce has been particularly observed in families where spouses are compelled to reside together due to traditional norms or negative attitudes towards divorced women. This study examines the interpersonal motivations of women involved in emotional divorce, focusing on two variables: revenge and avoidance. The present study posits that forgiveness can serve as a mechanism to confront emotional divorce and mitigate adverse emotional responses. Interpersonal motivations related to wrongdoing include how people deal with the moral, physical, and psychological harm caused by the wrongdoer (Baumeister et al., 1994). Revenge, the desire to double-repay for harm without a clear understanding of the situation, and the avoidance of emotional conflict to protect oneself, are among these motivations. The desire to compensate functions as a strategy to mask personal vulnerabilities and shortcomings by achieving success in other domains (Worthington et al., 2017). Forgiveness, in this sense, is a multifaceted process involving a reduction in negative sentiments towards the offending individual, a diminution in the inclination towards revenge, and an augmentation in positive emotions (Fatehi et al., 2021). Notably, forgiveness can paradoxically enhance the desire to compensate, as evidenced by studies such as that of Woodyatt and Wenzel (2013). Given the gravity of the issue of emotional divorce in women and its repercussions on society, this study investigates the effectiveness of forgiveness intervention on the desire to compensate and the interpersonal motivations related to the wrongdoing of women involved in emotional divorce.
 
Method
The research method employed was a quasi-experimental design, incorporating a pre-test, post-test, and follow-up with a control group. The statistical population comprised women experiencing emotional divorce who sought treatment at family counseling clinics in Isfahan during 2020-2021. Forty subjects were identified as having emotional divorce, as determined by the Gottman Divorce Test (1997). These subjects were then randomly assigned to either an experimental group or a control group. The experimental group received eight sessions of forgiveness intervention based on the protocol developed by Enright et al. (2001). The control group received no intervention. Data were collected using the Gottman Emotional Divorce Questionnaire (1997) and McCullough et al. (1998) Interpersonal Motivations Questionnaires, and were analyzed using repeated measures analysis of variance.
 
Findings
The efficacy of the forgiveness intervention was demonstrated by its significant impact on the desire to compensate (P<0.001, F=58.947, F=15.288) and its subsequent reduction of revenge (P<0.001) and avoidance (P<0.001) behaviors among women experiencing emotional divorce. The intervention's impact on reducing revenge behaviors demonstrated stability at the post-test and follow-up stages (P<0.001). The impact of the intervention on the avoidance was found to be consistent at the pre-test to post-test and pre-test to follow-up stages (P<0.001). However, its stability was not consistent between the post-test and follow-up stages (P<0.560). The percentage of effectiveness of forgiveness intervention on the desire to compensate, revenge and avoidance were 55.1%, 56.3%, and 0.69%, respectively.
 
Conclusion & Suggestions
The findings of this study demonstrated that training in forgiveness and relationship enrichment skills exerted a substantial influence on the mitigation of revenge and the enhancement of empathy in women experiencing emotional divorce. The provision of a secure and nurturing environment through these educational interventions enabled the participants to address their negative emotions, particularly anger and the desire to compensate, in a constructive manner. The training in forgiveness skills fostered a more profound comprehension of both the participants' own and their spouses' emotional and psychological needs. This enhanced understanding subsequently facilitated more open, honest, and respectful behaviors within the context of their relationships. Furthermore, training in negotiation and emotion management skills has been shown to help participants prevent the emergence and escalation of their anger. The implementation of choice-based strategies in these educational interventions resulted in the modification and enhancement of interactions between couples. These dynamic and purposeful interactions have been shown to reduce negative energy in relationships and increase the tendency toward sincere and understanding interactions. Consequently, couples demonstrated an increased capacity to cultivate harmonious relationships characterized by mutual acceptance. The study identified a correlation between a lack of forgiveness and empathy and the propensity to engage in revenge behaviors among women experiencing emotional divorce. The present study examined the impact of forgiveness training interventions on emotional divorcees, with a focus on feelings of revenge, empathy, and self-confidence. The intervention, as implemented, appeared to be effective in helping participants overcome their anger and revenge by fostering feelings of empathy and compassionate understanding towards the offender. The findings of this study are consistent with those of other studies, including those by Ebrahimi (2018); Isanejad(2010); Vallejo (2020); Bell (2017); Hay et al. (2018); Torkizadeh et al. (2018); Kianipour (2019); and Kahl Joyce (2010). Given these materials, it is posited that forgiveness training can function as an efficacious program for enhancing marital satisfaction and the propensity for reconciliation among couples experiencing emotional divorce.

Keywords

• forgiveness intervention
• Interpersonal motivations related to delinquency
• emotional divorce

Main Subjects

• Family and Marriage

---

References

Amirkhosravi, A., Bahrami, H., & Saadatishamir, A. (2021). The Role of Alexithymia, Interpersonal Forgiveness, and Marital Satisfaction in Predicting Emotional Divorce. medical journal of mashhad university of medical sciences, 63(6), -. https://doi.org/10.22038/mjms.2021.18936  [in persian]

Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A. M., & Heatherton, T. F. (1994). Guilt: an interpersonal approach. Psychological bulletin, 115(2), 243. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.115.2.243.

Beck, S. I. (2005). Efficacy of a forgiveness group intervention for aggressive victims. Capella University. https://doi.org/10.22055/psy.2016.12362.

 

Bell, C. M., Davis, D. E., Griffin, B. J., Ashby, J. S., & Rice, K. G. (2017). The promotion of self-forgiveness, responsibility, and willingness to make reparations through a workbook intervention. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 12(6), 571-578. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2016.1209545

 

Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/10381-000

Fatehi, N., Gholami Hosnaroudi, M., & Abed, N. (2021). The Mediating Role of Marital Forgiveness and Mental Well-being in the Relationship between Mindfulness and Sexual Satisfaction in Married Women and Men of Tehran City: A Descriptive Study [Research]. Journal of Rafsanjan University of Medical Sciences, 20(6), 660-645. https://doi.org/10.52547/jrums.20.6.660  [in persian]

GHIURCA, M. V., & VINTILA, M. (2019). THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FORGIVENESS AND MARITAL SATISFACTION WITHIN COUPLES. Social Research Reports, 11(1). https://doi.org/10.33788/srr11.1.2

Ghobari Bonab, B., Khodayarifard, M., Geshnigani, R. H., Khoei, B., Nosrati, F., Song, M. J., & Enright, R. D. (2021). Effectiveness of forgiveness education with adolescents in reducing anger and ethnic prejudice in Iran. Journal of Educational Psychology, 113(4), 846.  https://doi.org/10.1037/edu0000622 [in persian]

 

He, Q., Zhong, M., Tong, W., Lan, J., Li, X., Ju, X., & Fang, X. (2018). Forgiveness, marital quality, and marital stability in the early years of Chinese marriage: An actor–partner interdependence mediation model. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1520. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01520

Hill, E. W., & Mullen, P. M. (2000). Contexts for understanding forgiveness and repentance as discovery: A pastoral care perspective. Journal of Pastoral Care, 54(3), 287-296. https://doi.org/10.1177/002234090005400306

Isanejad, O., Ahmadi, S., & Etemadi, Z. (2010). Efficacy of relationship enrichment on improvement of marital relationship quality. Journal of Behavioral Sciences, 4(1), 9-16. https://sid.ir/paper/129660/fa [in persian]

Kahl Joyce, M. (2020). Wellbeing and marriage: does marriage improve mental health? Undergraduate economic review, 16(1), e16-e16. https://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/uer/vol16/iss1/16

Keller, L., & Allemand, M. (2020). Personality and Divorce. Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences, 3608-3613. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-24612-3_710

Kianipour, O., Mohsenzadeh, Farshad, & Zahrakar, Kianoush. (2019). Evaluating the effectiveness of schema therapy and narrative therapy when each of them is combined with the marital enrichment program on the tendency to break the marital contract and marital satisfaction. Family psychotherapy counseling, 2(24). https://doi.org/10.22034/fcp.2018.51182 [in persian]

 

McCullough, M. E., Rachal, K. C., Sandage, S. J., Worthington Jr, E. L., Brown, S. W., & Hight, T. L. (1998). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships: II. Theoretical elaboration and measurement. Journal of personality and social psychology, 75(6), 1586. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.6.1586

Olson, D., & Olson, A. (1999). Prepare/enrich program. Handbook of preventative approaches in couple therapy, 196-216. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480704270229

Rasheed, A., Amr, A., & Fahad, N. (2021). Investigating the relationship between emotional divorce, marital expectations, and self-efficacy among wives in Saudi Arabia. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 62(1), 19-40. https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2020.1833290 [in persian]

Torkizadeh, M., HajiAlizadeh, K., & Samavi, A. (2018). The Effectiveness of Self-forgiveness Workbook Intervention on Responsibility, and Willingness to Make Reparations among Students. Positive Psychology Research, 4(3), 57-70. https://doi.org/10.22108/ppls.2019.113829.1563  [in persian]

Vallejo, M. A., Vallejo-Slocker, L., Rivera, J., Offenbächer, M., Dezutter, J., & Toussaint, L. (2020). Self-forgiveness in fibromyalgia patients and its relationship with acceptance, catastrophising and coping. . Clin Exp Rheumatol, 38(123).

Woodyatt, L., & Wenzel, M. (2013). Self-forgiveness and restoration of an offender following an interpersonal transgression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 32(2), 225. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2013.32.2.225

Worthington, E. L. (2001). Five steps to forgiveness: The art and science of forgiving. Crown DOI: https://doi.org/10.4236/crcm.2022.118046 ·.

 

Worthington, E. L., Griffin, B. J., & Wade, N. G. (2017). Group intervention to promote self-forgiveness. In Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp. 179-192). Springer. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781351123341-27